Forever In Your debt! PART1 Sharron Meek aka Hankinson
You must give praise to those select few who actually do what they ultimately trained to do. Hooray for our social hero's!
Hello and thank you for allowing me the opportunity
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I would like to share a part of my story and express my sincerest gratitude to a Child Social Care worker and her colleagues who got our son the help he so desperately needed.They also gave our family huge support through a very difficult time.
I would like to nominate Sharron Meek aka Sharron Hankinson, she entered our family home and was empathetic and understanding of our situation of our young son.
Our son was struggling with some form of mental health in addition to his ASD diagnosis, he became extremely violent and controlling, he controlled our household through fear. Fear of violence but more so being attacked with knives as I slept with my 2 younger children to keep them safe.
Our son attempted to blind me with areosols and other chemicals or sprays he could find around the house, he went on a 3 day reign of terror with valid threats of extreme violence, in fear of him hurting himself or others I called the police. It was only a week or so before the police were called to our house because our son had attacked a lad in the street and bite into the arm of a passerby as he tried to get between our son and the young lad our son was attacking.
The altercation came about after a young girl didn't want to be his girlfriend so he went to the girls pigeon coop and broke the wings of his homing pigeons. The previous day he stabbed a little bird repeatedly with a knife, I didn't know this until my little girl disclosed it some time after.
After waiting for 3 days, myself and my other 2 children a serious risk of harm for someone to come and help us I sat on the back door step put my head in my hands and cried. My son had stopped smashing the house up and went into the garden. Upon seeing me almost completely broken, heartbroken and scared our son walked up to me, looked me in the face and said
"I will kill you one day mum, you know that don't you? see nobody coming to help you because nobody cares! I can do what I like in this house and to you my brother and sister and nobody can do anything about it especially you!"
I felt powerless and out of control until Sharron Meek aka Hankinson arrived at the door, I offered her a seat and explained the situation and the behaviour of our son. She asked about my partner and I explained that he had been working away but was due home within the next 48 hours. After a brief outline of the circumstances leading up to her arrival and explaining that we had grounded our son from running amok in the streets. also that our son had been stealing our money, bank cards to spend hundreds of pounds at the local shops not forgetting the shop lifting and removing his play station from his room.
It was then Sharron's professionalism came into play, she told me that we should not have grounded our son or taken his games console away from him, even though he quite happily destroyed the consoles of his siblings.
Now I understand I did it all wrong and so under the instruction of Sharron I decided to let him out, but as directed by Mrs Hankinson we was to be 3o mins earlier than usual and if he was good all day he would get the half hour back the following day. But if there was a problem he would lose 5 minutes.the following day.
I was also advised to give our son back his console so did so upon the request by Sharron. She taught me a valuable lesson that bad behaviour should be rewarded and by taking things away I am in fact a future risk of emotional harm to our son, my partner also.
Sharron also advised me that killing animals and having an obsession with knives with the desire to cut, kill or maim people was just a phase of a little 10 year old boy growing up and that all the surgery carried out on his teddies were also just a phase and nothing to be concerned about. I naturally felt a huge weight being removed from my shoulders, it was like I could breath again knowing that everything I was concerned about was a natural progression in a boy growing up.
It's just a shame my husband didn't agree to the same when he came home from working away, he told me the whole thing was absurd to let behaviour that was expressed by our son to go unpunished and laughed at the idea of allowing him to go out with the older kids to do as he pleases whilst asking him to be in 10 minutes earlier than usual.
I kind of get where he was coming from but Sharron is a professional, so I should listen to her really, she knows all about looking after problematic children and dysfunctional families.
Any way he was home for a few days when Sharron came round to visit our son and see how things were progressing as far as giving our son everything we took away for bad behaviour and allowing him to do as he pleased whatever the weather day or night. My husband was out in the garden making things with the children out of wood.
I went to the back door after seating Sharron down on the best seat in the house and beckoned in my husband to meet the lady who was there so solve all our bad parenting issues and advise us as to how our son should be parented.
Needless to say, it went as well as the Titanic's maiden voyage except this maiden voyage hit the rocks before any good day gestures were exhanged. He just had to do it didn't he. He just couldn't shut up and listen to a professionals advice that our parenting was a fair comparison to the stereotypical bad parent of broken Britain. Harsh, Controlling and out of touch. A future risk of emotional, physical and psychological harm.
I feel fortunate that he soon disappeared back outside and left me to speak with Sharron. I was told my husband is controlling, intimidating and abusive, not that she felt intimidated at all.
Sharron advised me that my husband should be made to leave the house and work away from home for an indefinite period until things were made better for our son.
a few weeks later my husband went away to work whilst I stayed at home being mum to my children, just like Sharron told me. My son seemed to be doing really well, hitting me often smashing the house up and running away, life was great for him now he's been told by a professional he can do what he likes. Give him what he wants or he can smash the house up and go play out with friends. Terrorising the younger siblings was all a part of growing up, making them think they would die was a normal thing growing up living in fear.
A week or so passed and my husband returned home from work, our son seemed to be a little different when he was home. The house wasn't smashed up, the younger kids felt safe and our son had a male role model around him.
The summer holidays had finished and our younger children went back to school. our son hadn't yet got a placement in his new school so thought he would be watching youtube on the t v all day. My husband told him once he was back from taking the others to school he too would be doing school work and was grounded for being in late the night before. Not to long after that my husband was banned by the court from being around me and our family...
To be continued!
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